Isaih 64

Oh, that You would rend the heavens! That You would come down! That the mountains might shake at Your presence-as fire burns brushwood, as fire causes water to boil-To make Your name know to Your adversaries, that the nations may tremble at Your presence. When You did awesome things for which we did not look, You came down; the mountains shook at Your presence. For since the beginning of the world, men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, nor has the eye seen any God besides You, who acts for the one who waits for him. You meet him who rejoices and does righteousness, who remembers You in Your ways. You are indeed angry, for we have sinned- in these ways we continue; and we need to be saved. But we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags; we all fade as a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. There is no one who calls on Your name, who stirs himself up to take hold of You, for You have hidden Your face from us, and have consumed us because of our iniquities. But now, O Lord, YOU are our Father; we are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are work of Your hand. Do not be furious, O Lord, nor remember iniquity forever; indeed, please look - we all are Your people! Your holy cities are a wilderness. Zion is a wilderness, Jerusalem a desolation. Our holy and beautiful temple, where our fathers praised You, is burned up with Fire; And all our pleasant things are laid waste. Will You restrain Yourself because of these things, O Lord? Will You hold Your peace, and afflict us very severely?

The Circle Trilogy

Ted Dekker is one of my favorite authors. He vividly shows the difference between good and evil, and the battle between the two. Some of my favorite books by him are the Circle Trilogy: Black, Red, and White. Sometimes, I find myself wishing this world was more like his novels, where men and women go into battle against the Horde, where the Forest Guard dance at night to celebrate Elyon's love for them, where the Great Romance is celebrated, where love is thick in the air, where there is no shame in displays of affection. The mean are encouraged to "woo, pursue, protect, cherish" women they have fallen in love with. People as young as 17 fall in love and get married. Of course, this IS fiction. But why just fiction? "Love" has lost much of its meaning, its power. "Until death due us part" now usually means "until I don't want to anymore." Why are so many guys too "cool" to show their love? Why do so many guys put on a tough act instead of telling girls how they really feel? Nowadays, if guys are affectionate towards girls they are friend with, people take it as "flirting" or "playing with her heart." Sadly, most of the time, that is true. Why? God is love. Of course, love means respecting the girl, but showing her affection nonetheless. I'm not saying guys need to be perfect; they are human. And I'm sure girls mess up plenty of times to. But basically what I'm trying to say is: don't be afraid to love, to show your love. "You never lose by loving. You only lose by holding back."-Barbara De Angelis "It's a kiss without any shame. Something beautiful." there is a song that reminds me of what I'm trying to say. It's called "Love Like Crazy." Here are some of the lyrics: "They called them crazy when they started out. Said 17's too young to know what loves about. They've been together 58 years now. That's crazy. He brought home 67 bucks a week. Bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple street, where she blessed him with 6 more mouths to feed. That's crazy. Just ask him how he did it, he'll say, "Pull up a seat. It'll only take a minute to tell you everything: be a best friend tell the truth and overuse "i love you." Go to work, do your best, never outsmart your common sense, never let your praying knees get lazy, and love like crazy... Always treat your woman like a lady. Never get to old to call her 'baby'. Never let your praying knees get lazy, and love like crazy."

(Elyon = Yahweh)
(the Great Romance = Elyon's love for his children.)
(Forest Guard = the people who guard the forest they live in)

Song of my heart (one of them)

This song kinda speaks for itself. :)

"Here we are, gathered in Your presence to seek Your face and worship only You, only You.

"Here we are, lost in ecstasy as we seek Your face and worship only You, only You.

"I'm longing, I'm yearning, and I'm running after You, my God. I love you wholeheartedly, but show me how to love You more."

yeah

Sometimes I ramble. I'm sorry.

The Lord is faithful

"Thus says the Lord, 'If the heaven above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth searched out bneath, I will also cast off all the seed of Israel for all that they have done.' says the Lord." Wow! Think about that! None of those things could ever happen! Which means the Lord will never cast us off! Wow. He is so faithful. "For if we died with Him, we shall also live with Him. If we endure, we shall also reign with Him. If we deny Him, He will also deny us. If we are faithless, He remains faithful. He cannot deny himself." :) I love these verses. Even in my own life, I have seen the Lord's faithfulness toward me, and towards others around me. God is good. :)

Kids

" 'Sing, O barren, you who have not borne! Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, you who have not laboured with child! For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married woman!' says the Lord." I love this verse because, even though I'm not married, and therefore, don't have any kids, I still know many children that I think of as "my kid," just because they are so precious to me. :)

God is good

"Thus says the Lord, 'If the heavens above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth searched out beneath, I will also cast off all the seed of Israel for all that they have done.' says the Lord." Wow! Think about that! Non of things can EVER happen! Which means the Lord will never cast us off! wow. The Lord is so faithful! "For if we died with Him, we shall also live with Him. If we endure, we shall also reign with Him. If we deny Him, He will also deny us. If we are faithless, He remains faithful. He cannot deny Himself." :) I love these verses. Even in my own life I have seen the Lord's faithfulness towards me and towards others around me. God is so good. :)

God is Gracious

God is gracious. No one deserves to be loved by Him. Yet He still does. He loves us so much, no matter what we've done. He longs for us to get to know Him better. He loves to love us. The Lord "desires for all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth." My heart is His, and my heart longs for this too, because my God is a gracious. I long for every heart to know the truth of His unconditional, forgiving, saving, purifying, reviving, strong, beautiful, gracious love.

The world

I spoke of burden the other day. I think I mostly spoke of my burden for the church and the passive, lost Christians. Well that's only half of it. Actually, He gave me a burden for the whole world. Sometimes it's so strong all I can do is weep. Other times, it leaves me so exhausted I can't cry or even pray. it hurts. So much of the wold is corrupted. So much of the world is blind to the truth. So much of the world is full of immorality. My heart breaks for the world, for the lost, the blind, the passive, the sinners, the broken, the deaf, the murderers, the thieves, the idolaters. I long for everyone to come to the Lord. I desire that not a single soul would go to hell. But so many people are not shown the true love of the Lord. Oh Lord, that You would rend the heavens and come down! Lord bring hope where there is none. Lord break in where there is no way. My heart breaks as I am writing this. Even know, I am weeping. The Lord longs for everyone to be saved. But so often, I feel completely helpless. But I know prayers are powerful. I just have to keep praying, keep loving. Declare the wonderful things the Lord has done for me.

College. ;)

So, I've decided that I don't want to go to college. It was a really stressful decision because, I'm kinda smart. That's what I'm told anyway. But, I know God's given me this gift, and I don't want to throw it away by not getting a better education. Of course, there are many ways I can exercise this gift of intelligence, but going to college and pursue a good job seems the best way, right? But here's the thing: time and money. College is at least 4 years long. Longer depending on the career you're pursuing. Also, eventually I'm going to get married, and will have to quit school and a job to raise my family. Also, money is important; you need it to support yourself. But college is so expensive. Also, my family is in debt right now, and I want to help pay it off, not be broke all the time. I want to live life, not be tied down by school. So, I'm planning on not going to college. But, everyone is different. If I were a guy I would go to college, cause I would be the one supporting a family. But I'm not. :)

aunt-to-be.......

So, some pretty important news... my sister is engaged!!! OMG!!! that means, in a few years, I will be an aunt!!! I've been waiting my whole LIFE for this moment!! :) but, I'm really excited for them. They love each other a lot, and they go to the same college, and our families live in the same city, and it's good. :) Aren't weddings beautiful? And babies perfect? Who would ever want to abort a baby. sick. Anyway, my sis is engaged. :) yay!!!!!! my little bro will have a big brother now! :) I'm happy. :) God is good. :) :) :)